- White Samoa Strikes Again - Wednesday, May 18, 2005 When I'm the busiest during the week is when I love to look back on some really fun weekends. Some I share with the world, others I have to keep on the supa-dupa D.L. Why, you ask? Well, it just so happens that I lead a double life. Yes, during the week, I'm the unbelievably white/puertorican chick you see to the left of the screen, but by the weekend, my name is changed and White Samoa makes her way to yet another polynesian festival still trying to convince the locals that I'm really from the Island - the Island of California, but that's not important. Last weekend I was in L.A. helping Molly run the booth for her mom's company, Polynesian Creations, which was being held at the Ahola Expo at Heritage Park in Santa Fe Springs, CA. I always have a blast at these festivals and Expos - it's hard work, but it's fun to be a Palagi and still feel like you belong. I was really impressed with Heritage Park and it's definitely been the best place I've been to for a festival. As soon as I got to LA on that Friday night, I had just about enough time to say hello to Molly, make her take me to Norm's for some food, and hit the sack since we'd be getting up at 6:30am. Getting there early, we set up the booth with all the merchandise, and that's when the craziness begins. There's a lot of different food vendors with local Island food to try, and that morning breakfast was some Moco Loco (super yummy by the way) to mirror the feeling of damn-near goin' "loco" dealing with some interesting customers to the Poly Creations booth. Although the smell of stir-fry and Hurricane Popcorn is what sticks in your mind the best, let's not forget the occasional hot polynesian male that struts by your booth like he owns the world. Each trip to an Expo has it's highlights, but I must say this time the highlight was seeing Molly finally become a winner. Uh, in the Aloha Expo raffle, that is. As we're fighting with customer's young children to not touch our nuts (kukui nuts, that is), over the loud speaker the name Molly Ah Yek carries to our booth and we all squeal. I head over to the info table with Molly to watch her claim her raffle prize, and lo and behold - there it is: A Hawaiian-Mermaid-Porn/doorstop/paperweight/hurry-put-on-the-counter-and-see-how-much-you-can-sell-it-for Statue. I know. We could hardly contain our excitement. It's common knowledge (and tradition in 34 1/2 countries) to dream of owning a clay-molded, half-naked mer-person to show your commitment to all things cheesy in life. Molly vowed to hang the sea-thing from her bathroom wall, in honor of all living woman/sea things that are proud of their breasts and in hopes to auction it off at Sothebys's to raise money for Mermaid Breast Cancer Awareness. Speaking of hot sale items, I want to know and understand the fascination with Sea Turtles at these Polynesian shin-digs. No matter if the customer is the age of 5 or 105, they never fail to walk by the booth and not just say, "Aw, what cute sea turtles you have", but in a wild fit of euphoria and bewilderment they exclaim, "OOOOOOOhmyGOD, what ADORable turtles! And they have little necklaces TOO??". Exactly. Just forget that we have one-of-a-kind Poly-cotton Pareo designs or the soft-clay, hand painted plumeria hair picks...yes, let's just zero in on the plushy too-cute-for-your-Island turtles. The crowd calls them 'adorable', I call them attention-stealing bastards. We just need to have a Turtle Booth next time around, I think people will fall out dead on the pavement in a sea of sea turtle bliss. But I'm not bitter over my fellow sea buddies, just a little starved for attention is all. Long live Polynesian Creations...and yes, those blasted turtles.

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