- Once Upon a Summer Day in Cali - Saturday, August 28, 2004 **This is a transcript from an actual phone call made to The Heat Offended Organization and Team Support Center aka HOOTSC. The name of the caller has been altered to attempt to disguise her identity. HOOTSC rep: Thank you for calling the Heat Offended Org-- Abril: HeLlO? Omg...hello?! There better be someone on the other end of this-- HOOTSC rep: Ma'am, Ma'am, please. Calm down, take a deep breath, let me know how I can help you. Abril: Oh, you wanna help do ya? Well fill me in on how I put out the flames that have engulfed my skull from this triple-digit heat... HOOTSC rep: Flames, huh? Wow, haven't had a call like this since the summer of '85 Abril: Can we FOCUS here? HOOTSC rep: Ok Ma'am, is there any kind of water source nearby, a faucet, a hose... Abril: Water? What the hell is that? Besides, I can't touch anything, I'm combusting, remember? HOOTSC rep: *cleans her teeth* Welp...I think I can have a dispatch out to you, however this is the busy season. Abril: When should I expect this circus to get here? HOOTSC rep: Ooh, probably around early October...until then, stop, drop, and roll and I'll mail you some change of address & state forms.

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